


Shrimp Can Pierce Through the Veil Between Worlds and Save the Day

by thenewbuzwuzz



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Crack, Episode: s05e22 Not Fade Away, Fix-It, Gen, The Author Regrets Nothing, fueled by spite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewbuzwuzz/pseuds/thenewbuzwuzz
Summary: Illyria revisits the world of shrimp.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 11
Collections: Fic Rush





	Shrimp Can Pierce Through the Veil Between Worlds and Save the Day

**Author's Note:**

> Idea snagged from the inspiring list of "[Terrible Fan Fic Ideas](http://www.buffyforums.net/forums/showthread.php?21913-Terrible-Fan-Fic-ideas)" by Willow from Buffy (where it is phrased as "Illyria visits the world of shrimp.")
> 
> The opening lines of dialogue are from "Not Fade Away", written by Whedon.
> 
> Please suspend disbelief on the hook by the door; these are special alien shrimp, and they can all do things that only some of our shrimp do.
> 
> This hasn't exactly been beta-read (though I've adjusted it a little based on reader feedback - thanks for saving Gunn, Ezagaaikwe!). So if someone runs into any grammar weirdness or canon inconsistency or anything, I'd love to know.

"Okay. You take the 30,000 on the left..." Gunn quipped. He wouldn't have to hold on to the bravado for long. He could manage a few minutes more until the demon hordes inevitably crushed them all.

"You're fading," said Illyria. "You'll last 10 minutes at best."

It might have been true, but she didn't have to say it.

Then she turned on her heel and disappeared.

***

Illyria had lost her own army long ago, but it wasn't the only army she knew of.

She reached out, trying to remember the dimension she needed. The throng, the restlessness. There it was.

She stepped a second time into the world of shrimp.

Their voices were harsher and more boisterous than the pleasant voices of plants. They were not the refined conversationalists that squid could be. But they were many. And they were survivors.

They said, "Hungry!"

Illyria commanded, "Follow me! And I will lead you into glorious battle!"

But, like the lower creatures she had met in the world of men, the shrimp were not easy to convince with authority and glory alone. To achieve her goal soon enough, she would have to promise them something else as well, loathsome as it was to stoop to bargaining.

She cast a look around. There was nothing but shrimp as far as the eye could see (and the eye of a god-king can see far indeed), a teeming pink and red expanse of them. She didn't see anything they could eat except other shrimp. If there was any water underneath, it was so scarce that it seemed the shrimp swam in nothing but the mass of shrimp.

"Follow me, and I will lead you to a world of easy swimming and plentiful food!"

The shrimp world rippled and rumbled, and, finally, said with one voice, "Lead us!"

***

Just as a dragon flew out of the rip in the sky above Los Angeles, a second rip opened next to it. A giant shrimp tumbled out and rammed its beak into the dragon's belly. Behind its tail, countless other shrimp scuttled out onto the damp dark streets, and Illyria was among them, riding a 6-foot long Mantis shrimp the color of blood.

She'd returned! If Gunn had to die, he would be glad to die fighting side by side with what was left of the team... or would they die at all?

On Illyria's command, the shrimp surged forward as one, rumbling in rhythm like war drums. They cracked skulls and dismembered demons with their powerful spiked claws. The booms of pistol shrimp rang out like gunshots, stunning the enemy.

The tide of the battle turned, washed away by the tide of shrimp, until the remaining demons fled back into their portal and closed it, wheezing and staggering.

"It's surprising how many demons are allergic to shellfish," Angel said conversationally.

As Gunn left in an ambulance, he saw the ranks of shrimp shimmer and disappear in thin air, still led by Illyria.

***

Illyria took all the shrimp to an ocean world, spacious and newly formed. There, she ruled over them ever after and taught them to build hydraulic engines and compose epic verse praising her name.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the trip! :D What are your thoughts?


End file.
